Desire for. Demand for.
I demand respect. You can demand a lot of things – Respect isn’t one of them. What you’re calling respect in this type of circumstance is really demanding a certain behavior that in ‘your mind’ signifies respect.
A person kowtowing doesn’t necessarily respect said person they’re kowtowing to, merely presenting a posture.
Nor does respect mean in a good way. Let’s look at the mob. If I was horning in on mob territory, I’d have respect for them, as in: the respect that they’ll kill me for certain behaviors including if I don’t do a behavior.
So… What TYPE of respect do you want from your horse? What TYPE of respect do you deserve? You do not deserve a horse’s respect if you ahve no skills or no good skills. If you’re trying hard to acquire them, that’s a different story. Just like with a horse, trying is important. But… see that you do. And that you know the difference.